By the time you read this, we’ll be gone. Well, actually, we haven’t been around for a while now, but you’re probably just noticing that now. This might come as a surprise to you, but we’re not coming back.
I wrote about how my boobs left me after I had a baby.
“Kelly calls herself “a flaming liberal” and a feminist, too. “I want my daughter to be able to do anything she wants,” she says. “But I also want to say, ‘Have a career that you can walk away from at the drop of a hat.’ ”—
— From the “Feminist Housewife” piece in New York.
1.) If you want your daughter to “do anything she wants” why do you need to qualify it with anything? Shouldn’t the statement just end there? Isn’t this whole piece about how you can be a housewife and a feminist because it was your choice? So do you want to stay home or not? Because when you add a caveat like that, it would appear that you don’t.
2.) This kind of bullshit is exactly what shapes the gender biases that we internalize when we’re little and holds us back when we’re grown.
3.) If you’re really a feminist, give the same career advice to your son.
You know who Jennifer Lawrence is! She just won the Best Actress Oscar? She was the one who tripped on the stairs when she was going to get her award, and it was adorable? This is Tony Alamo Christian Ministries. This is a church.
You didn’t see the Oscars this year? Did you call us because you have nothing better to do? Let me just say, real quick, the Lord’s coming back. Very soon. And He’s not gonna ask you how many movies you saw or which celebrities you knew. He’s gonna ask you what you did for his son, Jesus. He died on the cross, and He did that just for you, and that’s what we preach.
Wait, are you doing that thing where people pretend they don’t know what someone or something is to seem cool? Like, my friend is really cerebral and is into a bunch of obscure old music, and one time he claimed he didn’t know who the Spice Girls are. Which, obviously, is bullshit. Did you hear anything that I just said?