November 2011
5 posts
Baby Weight
I gained 70 lbs while pregnant and even though I’ve lost 40 lbs so far my dieting milestones are still pretty pathetic, like, “Ooh, I can fit into my maternity jeans again!” or “Yay, this muumuu isn’t tight anymore!”
Losing weight in a breastfeeding-friendly way is so foreign to me. I miss my trusty old cigarette-and-amphetamine diet. Responsibility is kind of...
Guns ‘N Roses’ “Don’t Cry” actually makes for a lovely lullaby. “Rock-a-bye Baby” on the other hand is sort of terrifying. I’m assuming the baby dies when it falls out of the tree, right? Who puts a baby in a tree?
I’ve come to the conclusion that the parents of the world (even those that claim to be friends) aren’t totally upfront about what a fucking absolute nightmare it is to have a newborn. When I’ve confronted people about this in the past six weeks they sort of just laugh it off and say, “Oh, I guess you sort of just block out the bad stuff” or “Don’t worry,...
