August 2011
33 posts
Shortly before he died, Mr. Armstrong told reporters and friends that his myriad problems — financial, marital and personal — were aggravated, if not caused, by the show. This is not hard to see. He was playing a dour jerk and bankrolling the production that was meant to prop up his wife with his dwindling fortune. No wonder his finances and marriage fell apart…Mr. Armstrong said he’d felt...
1 tag
I found out today that I’m probably not eligible to deliver in the birthing center because my baby is too big. She’s already an estimated 9 lbs and my due date is still several weeks away. I was told to immediately cease taking my prenatal vitamins and now I wish I’d thought to ask why. At the time I was too busy having a daymare, about what is about to happen to my vagina when...
Last Night in Bed
Husband: [Rubbing my belly] I wish I had someone inside me.
Me: Aww, really?
Husband: Yeah. Can you finger my asshole?
To expound upon the janky-ass office bathroom we had at BUST that I mentioned yesterday, the only way that I could get my bosses to agree to invest money in improving its quality (like a door that had a doorknob, walls that weren’t literally crumbling, floors that didn’t have broken tiles, a toilet seat that wasn’t cracked, etc.) was to let me renovate it myself and turn it into...
The single most hilarious press release I have... →
coketalk:
ABERCROMBIE & FITCH PROPOSES A WIN-WIN SITUATION
New Albany, Ohio, August 12, 2011: Abercrombie & Fitch Co. (NYSE: ANF) today reported that it has offered compensation to Michael ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, a character in MTV’s TV show The Jersey Shore to cease wearing A&F products.
A spokesperson for Abercrombie & Fitch commented:
“We are deeply concerned that Mr....
Why I Hate People
I’m supposed to be avoiding the subway because standing on the platform always seems to cause contractions, but I had an appointment in midtown during rush hour and a cab didn’t seem feasible. So I stood on the platform, in front of a full row of seats, for the 9 minutes that I had to wait for the L train. One old woman stood up to let me sit down, and a man ran over to the seat and...
Happy Birthday Whitney!
To celebrate, a gif bomb:
I’m no prude, but I am resolutely against any baby clothing that suggests anything about my infant’s sexuality, no matter how cutesy the intentions of the message are. I received a hand-me-down dress that says, “Sorry boys, but I only date rock stars!” What the fuck is a third date with a baby like? Gross. She’s never wearing that.
The best part of my baby shower this weekend was the commentary as I opened my presents. Because the gift-opening process is so time consuming (and frankly, tedious for those watching) my mother employed this very effective whirlwind assembly line in which she and her helpers opened the gift, opened the card, and handed them both to me for pictures and oohs and aahs. If you ever want to make a...
