To expound upon the janky-ass office bathroom we had at BUST that I mentioned yesterday, the only way that I could get my bosses to agree to invest money in improving its quality (like a door that had a doorknob, walls that weren’t literally crumbling, floors that didn’t have broken tiles, a toilet seat that wasn’t cracked, etc.) was to let me renovate it myself and turn it into a DIY feature for the magazine.

My coworker Callie and I worked all through the night for about two weeks straight doing crazy-ass shit I’ve never done before, like installing a new floor and plastering and sanding walls. The plastering and sanding was the hardest and most time consuming and we did a lot of coke to pull it off. One night, when we ran out, we called a service and Callie went downstairs to get it and she actually looked like a walking ball of cocaine, with plaster dust swirling around her like a cloud. I don’t know what those dealers thought.

I’m actually really amazed at everything we did. We made a medicine cabinet out of a giant picture frame that we bought at the flea market and filled with fabric; we made a lot of use of dollar store fake flowers, attaching them to a set of antlers we got for cheap off eBay, attaching them to the bottom of a trash can that we decoupaged to look like a log, and creating a string of lights.

And as for the door that didn’t have a doorknob and kept me from pooping in the office, we ordered a new one, and then used this special spray paint that turns things into chalkboards so that we could create a period chart for all the staffers and interns, just to see if we really did all sync up. I think we sort of dropped that experiment after like the first month, but it was still cute.

I’ve been busy the past few weeks with a similar DIY renovation project, trying to turn my home office into a nursery. Let me tell you: It’s so much harder without stimulants. Or Adderall. Or weed. Or wine. Or anything. I usually get tired and/or bored after about an hour or two of work and need to take a nap. Hopefully I can get it all done in the next couple of weeks.

  1. battleaxekate reblogged this from tracieeganmorrissey
  2. hangover said: i once made a set of red velvet curtains for all four walls of an 9x12 foot room over the course of one evening for my old office cranked out of my mind. the thing looked like an nightmare bordello. now im lucky if i can finish a skirt hem.
  3. ijustcantwaittobekim reblogged this from tracieeganmorrissey
  4. tracieeganmorrissey posted this